Friday, November 2, 2012

No Oscars Here

I am the absolute least sophisticated movie watcher.  I am very clear about turning my nose up at fluffy books (anything by Nicholas Sparks or Jodi Piccoult makes me want to gag) and simultaneously having strong opinions about any movie more serious than the latest Julia Roberts chick flick.  Did it win an award?  I probably wouldn't like it.  Is it awkward or does it make you think?  Leave me out of it.  Is it total fluff, with a healthy amount of gratuitous sex, some totally cheesy current pop music playing through the credits, and will I be able to predict the likely ending after the first ten minutes?  If yes, now we're talking my kind of movie.

I simply do not have the attention span for two-plus hours of screen time.  I only get through an entire movie if it's possible for me to leave for ten or fifteen minutes halfway through and not miss anything crucial.  In that same vein, I would rather watch the same eight or ten movies over and over again than try something new (rigid much, Cait?) because then I definitely know how they end and I can even take a nap in the middle and not worry about missing out.  FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out, is a very real thing, people.  Given that I watch the same movies over and over again, I can also recite them pretty much word for word.  It's totally adorable and not ever annoying, I promise.

In no particular order, I present to you my most oft-quoted films in the haphazard collection under our tiny tv:
"Focus on Maggie....focus on Maggie....Focus on Bob.  Focus ON Bob."

"That caviar is a GARNISH."

"Even more excellent!  Start unzipping, Parker..."

So there you have it.  Three favorite movies.  They're all crap.  They are the fluffiest of the fluff.  And I love them.


Day 01: A place I'd like to travel.
Day 02: A favourite movie.

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