Cake Fail

I follow a blog called The Bitten Word that does what I could only dream of doing - actually cooking the recipes from their monthly supply of food magazines.  Now, granted, the only food magazine I subscribe to is Cook's Illustrated, which comes every two months and definitely lends itself to well-intentioned stockpiling on the bookshelf with promises to myself of, "I will definitely make that someday."  Anyway, the folks at The Bitten Word issue a yearly challenge to help them cook every recipe out of the September issue of Bon Appetit.  I signed up this year, and was issued the task of making this: buttermilk cake with sour milk jam and gin-poached cherries (whew).

All my ingredients.

It was less than impressive.

It incorporated several elements of baking that I find vexing - like the need to go to Whole Foods for a strange and expensive ingredient (juniper berries?), the finished product requiring complex assembly, the use of three (3) separate complete elements, and a wholeheartedly unrealistic amount of time spent doing active work (not, say, cooling something on the counter or baking something in the oven).  So, not only was it a great deal of work, but it tasted gross.  This saddened me.  But!  (There's always a but.)  I had fun making something that I never would have made otherwise, and the cake part itself tasted delicious.

First, I planned.  I got most of the stuff I needed on a grocery run - in the process acquiring more dairy than our fridge has held in months: buttermilk, whole milk, and creme fraiche.  Then, I traded picking up a friend at her mechanic for a cup of leftover gin she had since I didn't want to buy a whole bottle.  (Meanwhile thinking to myself, isn't a cup of gin, like, a LOT of gin??).  Finally, I resigned myself to going to Whole Foods after class one day to buy a four-dollar jar of dried whole juniper berries.  I will be personally indebted to anyone who finds another recipe with which I can use any more of the (barely touched) bottle of juniper berries, by the way.

The cake part, like I said, was delicious and simple enough.  Just a yellow cake batter, using buttermilk, which gave it a lovely soft crumb and a delicately sweet flavor.  Scrumptious.

Then, I spent 45 minutes cooking down milk and sugar into a syrup of such sickening sweetness that even mixing it into 8 ounces of creme fraiche didn't make it not taste like a cavity.

Finally, I followed the recipe exactly and attempted to make a gin, sugar, juniper berry, and dried tart cherry syrup thing to also put with the cake.  Total fail.  There was nothing syrupy about it, and the cherries were macerated within minutes.  I took one taste after cooking it for at least twice the amount of time called for (in an attempt to reduce the vast volume of liquid) and it was like taking a shot of gin in a spoon.  I'm not in college anymore, so this made me gag.

The finished product.

I took one bite of it all together, threw the sour milk "jam" and the alcoholic cherries in the trash, said a silent apology to the friend whose gin I'd wasted, and ate a piece of the cake with my hands.  Whomp whomp.  I'm very curious to see what others who made this recipe thought of it!  And I was at least happy to note that my instincts when looking at this recipe (looks complicated, and, is that seriously going to taste good...?) were spot on.

Anyone else had some recent cooking adventures they'd like to share?

Eggplant Can Be Sexy

I used to loathe eggplant.  I thought it was slimy, and bitter, and rubbery and I resented its very existence in the world of food.  Sadly, eggplant can be all of those things - but it doesn't have to be.  It can be silky and smooth and smoky and - dare I say it - sexy.  Yes, sexy.

I am a firm believer that baba ganouj is better than hummus.  It's hummus's awkward cousin at the summer barbecue, who has a weird name, like Anastasia that no one can pronounce, but at the end of the movie, everyone is going to realize how much more awesome she is than her simply-named and conventionally-pretty cousin, Kimmie.

Here is the only recipe for baba ganouj you will ever need.  Originally, it came from a Moosewood cookbook and has four or more extra ingredients, like parsley and scallions and other unnecessary things.  There are five gazillion Moosewood cookbooks, so please don't ask me which one it's from because I have no idea.  All I know is that I have committed this recipe to memory and people moan over it when I bring it to potlucks, and then sidle up to me like I'm operating an undercover meth lab out of my kitchen and ask me in an undertone, "How did you make this?"  Good readers, here is how:

Preheat your oven to 400.
Take two eggplants and cut off the stem end.  Then prick holes all over the eggplants with a fork.
Put them into the oven, directly on the racks.  It's a good idea to put some tinfoil on your oven floor to catch drips.
Set your timer for at least 45 minutes, though it can take up to an hour.
When the eggplants are falling apart, practically sinking through the oven rack, and look like something dead on the side of the road - carefully take them out of the oven with some tongs and a big bowl and let them cool until you can touch them without swearing.
Scoop all of the insides into a food processor.  Make sure no skin gets in, and leave no insides behind.  Be fastidious.
Add 1/2 cup tahini, the juice of one lemon, 3 (or 5, if you're me) crushed garlic cloves, 1 tsp coarse salt,  and five or six grinds of fresh black pepper.  Whiz it up until it's smooth.  Taste and adjust seasonings.
Serve this warm with bread, pita, vegetables, a spoon, your fingers.
Prepare yourself for the moans and admiring glances at your next potluck.
If there are leftovers, eat them with a spoon, in the dark of night, with the fridge door propped open.
It will make you happy.

* * *

30 Days Hath November

Day 01: A place I'd like to travel.
Day 02: A favourite movie.
Day 03: Something I never leave the house without.
Day 04: A friend I adore.
Day 05: My hometown.
Day 06: A book I'm reading.
Day 07: A song for the day.
Day 08: Three inspirational quotes.
Day 09: A close-up of my day.
Day 10: A favourite recipe.

Awesomesauce!

Emotionally, fall is hard for me.  But apples help.  And since making confection after confection of sugar-laden apple treats (like pie, crisp, bread, etc) would be even worse for my mental state and waistline than life already is, enter...applesauce (or awesomesauce).  Also, my crockpot?  Is winning.  So much love for the humble crockpot.

The players in this fine game: lemon juice (fresh is better, but hey), cinnamon, brown sugar.

And apples.  This isn't all of them, waiting to be chopped.  Only what was left by the time I thought to take a picture.

So.  I have a small crockpot, which means I can fit probably six or seven chopped big apples (the ones I had were the size of my head though, so I only used five).  For that much peeled, chopped apple, add the juice of half a lemon, a thinly peeled slice of the lemon rind (use a veggie peeler, and just oh so gently take off a 2-3 inch piece of the zest, without taking the pith with it), about 1/2-1 tsp cinnamon (depending on how much you like cinnamon), and maybe 2 tsp brown sugar.  Cook on high for 3 hours, or on low for 6 hours.  Stir occasionally.  Fish out the lemon peel at the end.  I stir it with a big spoon until it's the consistency I like (still kinda chunky) but you can blend it with an immersion blender if you like it super smooth.  Yum.  I've been putting this in my breakfast oatmeal lately, and it's positively swoon-worthy.

Tangential note to the above post: do you avoid cooking things that require lots of (albeit, mindless and not terribly difficult) prep work?  Like, for instance, peeling and chopping a pile of apples?  Because I did.  Like the plague.  I could kvetch about peeling and chopping a pile of root vegetables until you'd want to stuff sweet potato peels in your ears just to shut me up.  Since I don't cook a lot of meat, my prep work largely consists of just that: peeling and chopping.  And I lumped it into the same category as laundry and dishes and vacuuming and grocery shopping and all the other menial tasks that seemed to personally mock me with their necessity and their low rank on the ladder of difficulty.  In my head, it was like, "But whyyy do I have to do these things?  I have such other important, stressful, brain-busting things going on in my head that I need to be thinking about and mulling over and doing that it's just not fair that I would have to do something as silly as chopping apples."  Oh my gosh, right?  Get over it.  And then I read something about what we need to stop doing (in our twenties, but honestly, whenever) and this one hit me like a punch in the gut:

Stop treating errands as burdens.  Instead use them as time to focus on doing one thing, and doing it right.  Errands and chores are essentially rote tasks that allow you time to think.  They function to get you away from your phone, the internet, and other distractions.  Focus and attention span are difficult things to maintain when you're focused and attentive on X amount of things at any given moment. [source]

And then I got it.  Chopping the apples wasn't keeping me from thinking about and handling all of the other things in my head - it was exactly the time to be thinking about those things.  So tonight, I got out the pile of apples and my trusty peeler, and I told myself that I had until the dishes were done to think about being frustrated with how my last rotation went.  After that, closed topic.  The rotation is over, a new one is starting, it's time to move on.  So there I stood, methodically peeling and chopping, peeling and chopping.  And yes, at first, I fumed.  About my preceptor, and how much we didn't mesh, about how worried I am that I'm not prepared for my next rotation, and about how much I still feel like I need to learn.  I kept peeling.  I calmed down.  I chopped some more.  My thoughts shifted.  I smiled as I remembered the concert I went to last night, and how nice it was to visit my college town again.  And then, what do you know, half an hour had gone by and the crockpot was on and the kitchen was clean, and my mind was clearer than it's been in days.  Awesomesauce to the rescue.

What's Kickin' in my Kitchen

Recipes available upon request...

Avocado grapefruit salad

Oven oatmeal

Blueberry cornbread

Burst tomatoes

Lemon pasta

Coasting

As I stood over the stove this evening, stirring a pot of oatmeal and enjoying the faint whiff of cinnamon blooming from the oven where a batch of granola was baking, I glanced idly to the retro clock on the wall, and below that, the bookcase that houses (mostly) cookbooks.  I paused, and counted.  Twenty.  I own twenty cookbooks.  Plus a recipe box that's more than halfway full.  Which doesn't even begin to extend to the hodgepodge of recipes I keep filed in my internet cache, through bookmarked sites and cooking blog posts.  For someone who has food issues, I sure like to cook, I thought wryly.  Indeed, for as long as I can remember, I have always enjoyed cooking - for others.  I grew up watching my mom in the kitchen, standing on a stool to crack eggs, gripping a wooden spoon in my two small paws to stir whatever it was she was working on.  Eventually, I graduated to cooking and baking on my own, mostly things for my family and eventually treats for friends, school events, and bake sales.  In college, it didn't take long for my friends and I to start a Thursday night supper club that usually consisted of steaming bowls of pasta (cheap, and feeds a crowd) clutched in our laps while the Massachusetts winter would rage outside.  We would collapse into each other while we ate, fitting into the curves of shoulders, leaning against knees, and talking endlessly as we fell into the easy physical fluidity that characterized our circle of four.  Food, and the experience of it, was a refuge.  A haven of nourishment and safety in the midst of the emotional turmoil and academic challenges that Smith presented.  I hold these memories close, even while the four of us have geographically dispersed to almost comical distances.  After college, I jumped for joy at the prospect of having a kitchen again, albeit one that was wedged into the corner of our studio apartment like an afterthought.  I started cooking for Alix with gusto, attempting to recreate elaborate dishes from her childhood, crafting four course birthday dinners, and creating towering stacks of dirty dishes that took two hours to wash in the tiny sink.  I have cooked and baked for every family for whom I have ever nannied, held many a small hand while we cracked eggs together and encircled little arms that strained to stir a bowl of batter.  These days, I bake for my roommates and I cook for Hallie, making food on the weekends to last the two of us in the week of work ahead.  I make everyone else's favorites because I don't know what mine are.  I ask what people like, what they want for dinner, for their birthday, for anything at all, because it's far more straightforward than attempting to cook for myself.  I cook for others.  I always have.  I want the food to show how much I care for these people in my life.  Maybe this means I play to people's most base selves, but it's what I do, and I do it well.  Talk to me about cooking for myself though, and all bets are off.  When it comes to me, I hate it all.  I hate food, I hate needing it, I hate eating it, I hate what it does to me, I hate everything about it.  I get angry about it, and my brain's completely twisted way of conceptualizing food and turning anything and everything about it into permutations on the idea of BAD.  Same story, a million different incarnations.

My therapist asks me when we talk, "how food is going," the way one might ask after the welfare of your child, or your pet.  What she means is, "Tell me what you're eating and then let's talk about it."  In other words, saying "Fine" and expecting her to say "Great" and move on her merry way is laughable (I know this because I've tried and she has laughed and I still have to talk about it.).  Have you ever had to tell someone what you eat, every day, in excruciating detail?  No?  It's tons of fun.  No, it's not sufficient to say you had a smoothie for breakfast.  Your therapist would like to know what the smoothie is made out of and how many calories are in it.  Don't pretend like you don't know.  Often, the fact reporting part of these conversations is rather short, for the obvious reason that I don't eat a lot, and for the maybe not obvious reason that I eat the exact same thing every day.  It's simpler that way.  Week to week, the combination might change slightly, but I will eat the same thing every day for up to two weeks in order to avoid having to recalculate calories for new recipes or foods.  If I heard of other people doing this, I'd think how sad it was that they didn't know how to cook different, yummy things for themselves (or didn't have someone to cook for them).  But honest to blog, swing the camera back on me and my brain says, "Nope, nuh-uh, doesn't apply to THIS person right here."

Dealing with an eating disorder is like doing an elaborate dance to which you don't know all the steps.  You see other people doing the dance and you know that it's not that hard, but when you try to do it, you keep taking the wrong steps.  So you watch other people, again, and try, again, and maybe this time you get the first part right and you mess up a different step.  It's exhausting.  So you have all these rules and security measures in place to try and keep you from completely collapsing on the dance floor (i.e., eating the same thing every day for weeks at a time) but even with these in place, your disordered brain finds ways to knock down your carefully constructed little house of cards, and you're back to square one.  Again.

My therapist isn't all that happy with me.  She says I'm "coasting" right now.
Coasting, as in, I'm kind of attempting the dance, but my heart's not always all the way in it.
Coasting, as in, this works for right now because everything is just fine the way it is, thank you very much.
Coasting, as in, what's going to happen when things change?
What happens next in the dance?
You think I know?

The Bounty of the Season

 

Can't be the fourth of July without a blueberry pie.

Risky Business

Today was an epic day. I. Invented. A. Recipe. This is a big deal. As adept as I may have felt in the kitchen before now, it was always as a result of my faith in the trustworthiness of recipes. I followed them to the letter, and most of the time, I liked the results. But lately, as I've been cooking more and cooking healthier, there have been times where I'll come across a recipe and think, "Hmm, that sounds decent, but adding *blank* or removing *blank* or substituting *blank* for *blank* might make it even better!" The results of my additions and alterations were also generally good and all of this confidence-building led up to tonight, where I decided to make something to go with some leftover polenta.

(Side note: When I was in college, I tasted polenta for the first time and thought it was disgusting. Then, a few weeks ago at the bakery, one of the owners made us polenta for lunch. I originally turned my nose up at it, explaining my hatred for it, only to be cajoled into trying it and discovered that polenta is by no means disgusting, it is FREAKING DELICIOUS. Which then inspired me to make my own polenta, so I pulled out my trusty vegan cookbook and found a recipe for Pesto-Infused Polenta with Portobellos. Then I made that, adding my own flare of balsamic vinegar to the cooking mushrooms and we ended up with a meal of pesto polenta with garlickly, vinegary, tender mushrooms to heap on top. The only hiccup to that meal was that because the floor of our apartment slants, the stove is also slanted, and two of the polenta slices slid off the cookie sheet in the oven, falling through the grates and onto the flaming gas. They were recovered, slightly mangled, but still edible. We ate all the mushrooms that night and so I had some leftover polenta to deal with.)

So we've had a 28 oz can of whole stewed tomatoes with basil in the cupboard for over a year. Because of the basil, I've never used it in a recipe - until now. I was determined. I built a dinner around the jar of freaking tomatoes. It was so easy, I can't wait to make up more recipes. First, I sauteed some garlic and onions in olive oil until the onions were soft (I love this beginning to almost any recipe, especially when there are lots of onions involved. Alix can live with my bad breath, I don't care.). Then, I cut up the tomatoes in irregular chunks and added them to the pot over low heat. I also added a can of white cannellini beans (drained and rinsed), as well as salt, pepper, oregano, and hot pepper flakes. I let it all simmer while I pan-seared the polenta with some cooking spray, and voila - dinner! I grated some parmesan cheese on top of the whole mess and the meal was enjoyed by all.

Because today was my day off, I got super industrious and made two kinds of bread. The one that was more effort, a whole wheat egg bread was less than spectacular. It tasted like dense, healthy challah, and we all know that challah is only good if it is fluffy and bad for you. The other bread was from my vegan book, and it was a quick bread that took less than ten minutes to put together, and an hour to bake. It was flavored with molasses, chopped pecans (the recipe called for walnuts, but we didn't have any), and raisins. The bread was dense, dark, not too sweet, and perfect warm from the oven. I'm so excited by all of the delicious vegan things I'm finding I can make without noticing anything "missing"! Even the dinner tonight would have been vegan if the pesto didn't contain cheese (easy enough to leave out) and we hadn't put cheese on top (also easy to leave out).

In working out news - Alix is studying for finals and so is off the hook for now. I, however, have no such excuse and so am back to the regimen. I sadly gained back the 4-5 pounds I had lost during the Thanksgiving/vacation laziness, but this is the third day in a row that I have Jillian Michaels-ed it all on my own and I'm keeping track of my food again so we'll do a weigh-in at the end of the week and see where I'm at. All in all, I had a wonderful day off. I'm finishing this blog post just in time to watch the season finale of Biggest Loser...where my bestest friend Jillian will be present, hopefully looking as desperately attractive as she always does. No, I don't have a crush on my virtual personal trainer, what are you talking about?!

You Wanna Wonton?

Unfortunately, the past week and a half have been fairly unsuccessful as far as the healthy eating and consistently working out goes - it started a couple of days before Thanksgiving and has slid on until now. I spent a whirlwind two days at home with my parents (requiring almost eight hours of driving each way) and Alix and I leave for Vermont tomorrow morning, with a stop in Northampton halfway through so I can weirdly reminisce about a place I loved and hated for the last four years. In the midst of all this traveling (me) and studying for finals (Alix), time has seemed to go by way too quickly. I am already halfway through my two weeks of vacation from nannying! I better make the most of these next few days in Vermont where the regimen is going back into place, big time. Get this - workouts twice a day. No reason not to, since we've no other commitments. And after eating our way through Thanksgiving and its leftovers, we sure need it.

Tonight's dinner was another adventure in my cookbook Vegan Planet. We made Ginger-Scented Vegetable Pot Stickers with a Spicy Peanut Dipping Sauce. The pot stickers lived up to their name and tried hard to stick to the pot (the recipe said to use a non-stick pan but since we don't own one, we used what is apparently an extremely sticky pan, with questionable results).

As you can see, the pot stickers on the right look relatively normal. The ones in the top left, however, have been relegated to the time-out corner where they have been instructed to "think about what they've done" and ultimately wound up in the trash. But the others were pretty good! Crispy on the outside, and the tofu, cabbage, ginger, carrot, and garlic filling was delicious and didn't taste like it was "missing" anything by not having meat in it. The best part of the night, though, came as I turned around from picking up my camera to take this picture and saw Rupert licking the messed-up pot stickers (I had, stupidly, put the plate on the coffee table, directly in his line of access). I gasped, yelled a firm "DON'T!" and watched, aghast, as Rupert backed up a step, looked me in the eye and slowly, slowly opened his mouth as wide as it would go and licked his chops, all the way around. The message was clear: "Mom, I don't have to listen to you. But you do make some damn good pot stickers." I laughed so hard that the reprimand was useless. Thank goodness he only licked the messed-up ones, right?

The peanut dipping sauce was truly spectacular. Probably because we both love peanut butter, but it tasted great with the wontons and I can imagine it being delicious with any number of goodies. I love to dip my food in anything and everything (ketchup, pickle relish, ranch dressing, peanut butter, etc) and Alix is not only the opposite, but she thinks my habit is disgusting. So it's saying something that we both liked this spicy smooth cilantro-infused sauce. See here she is, modeling her joy at Spicy Peanut Dipping Sauce!

In other news, while I was home, I cooked a batch of Lentil Soup with Chard and Orzo for my parents with some Whole-Grain Herb Bread on the side (both from the vegan cookbook). I do a lot of cooking when I'm home with my parents to give my mom a break from it all and also, because, well, there's not a whole lot else to do. Making bread is especially fun because I have the four hours to devote to it, no problem. As everyone knows, the best and most fun part of baking bread is the moment when you first get to punch it down. (Or maybe you didn't know that, but now you do and you should go learn how to bake bread just so you get to experience it. It's that good.)

Soup simmering, orzo cooking

Herb bread, freshly sliced

My soup and bread were well-received and it made me appreciate how much I love this cookbook for giving me vegan recipes that don't make me feel like anything is missing from them. They just taste like good food, except cruelty-free. Yay!

Lastly, in spite of this last week of overeating, I had to buy new jeans (in a smaller size) and my belt is one notch tighter. Let's see what a week of double workouts (bring it on Jillian!) will result in. Maybe this will be one holiday season that leaves me smaller than I was before it all began.

Never Going Back Again

Well, the verdict is in...this is a permanent change. This is not a month-long trial. This is not an experiment. This is a lifestyle change that is making us into happier, healthier, more conscientious people. This is a life that I would be proud to raise my children in and an example that I feel like I can set for others. This is about so much more than losing weight or trying to look better naked (don't get me wrong, we're still hoping for both of those things). This is also about doing everything in our power to be alive and well for the next seven decades that Alix and I plan to be with each other. I think the determination set in yesterday when we began Level 2 of our program. It killed us. When Jillian says in the video, "I want you to feel like you're going to die!", I was right there with her. I wanted to collapse into an asthmatic crisis and never get up. But I didn't. I finished the workout and then, goddammit, I got up again tonight and did it one more time. And I'll do it tomorrow. And the day after that. We plan to do Level 2 for ten days and then Level 3 for the rest of the 30 days before assessing our after results and moving on to bigger and better things. New videos, sticking with the vegetarianism (and possibly venturing into veganism...stay tuned on that one), continuing to cook healthy meals, eat responsibly and sustainably, and generally improving on the half-formed versions of who we still are.

The dinner we made tonight was beyond delicious. It was called pappardelle with spiced butter and you can find the recipe here. It was spicy and smooth and loaded with asparagus and neither one of us could resist second helpings.

Anyway, regardless of what challenges come up or what obstacles we will run into (Thanksgiving, anyone?), we are determined to keep this going and I know we will do it. And that makes me proud.

New Recipes

I made two more recipes from my Vegan Planet cookbook today and both were smashing successes. The first is a breakfast spread to go on toast or bagels (or fruit, I suppose). It's not too sweet, nutty and smooth and delicious, as well as protein-filled, low in fat and animal product free. I had it on a piece of whole wheat toast this morning for breakfast and it was satisfying and more interesting than plain nut butter.

Bagels-for-Breakfast Spread (Sweet)
4 oz soft silken tofu, drained
1 medium ripe banana, peeled and sliced
2 T almond butter
2 T pure maple syrup
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp allspice
Combine all ingredients in a food processor until smooth. Refrigerate for several hours to allow the flavors to develop. This will keep in the fridge for about 3 days.

Then, for dinner, Alix and I had another recipe from the same book, called Fennel, Pecan, and Watercress Salad with Orange Vinaigrette. It was amazing! The combination of textures and flavors was delicious and it felt good to have something so healthy and satisfying for dinner.

Fennel, Pecan, and Watercress Salad with Orange Vinaigrette
1 navel orange, peeled
2 large fennel bulbs, trimmed
2 bunches watercress, tough stems removed and coarsely chopped
1/2 cup pecan halves, toasted
1/4 cup white wine vinegar
2 T frozen orange juice concentrate, thawed
2 T water
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup olive oil
Remove the pith from the orange, then cut sections from between the membranes and set aside. Halve each fennel bulb lengthwise, then cut crosswise into paper-thin slices. Place in a large serving bowl, combine with the watercress, orange sections, and toasted pecans. In a small bowl, combine the vinegar, orange juice concentrate, water, mustard, salt, and pepper. Whisk in the olive oil until blended and pour the dressing over the salad. Toss to coat evenly and serve immediately

We loved this salad! We didn't cut the fennel very well so the bites were a little awkward, and the dressing was delicious, but a little excessive. When I make it again, I will add more watercress to use the rest of the dressing.

In other news, after working out twice yesterday, we were too worn out to do it today. Tomorrow we plan on starting our second exercise dvd program, called Cardio Max (another Biggest Loser spin-off) in addition to the 30 Day Shred workout. It will be our last day of Level 1, and then we'll be moving on to Level 2 of the Shred program. Wish us luck!

Venturing into Veganism

Today was a good day! After waking up, we had a healthy breakfast of yogurt (sadly, none of the high-fat stuff I have previously advocated) and blackberries, plus a glass of V8 and our handful of vitamins. After a trip to the dog park, we did our fifth 30 Day Shred workout and noticed increased endurance from our first day. While some of the strength moves are still very difficult, the cardio sections barely make us break a sweat and the abs exercises feel productive but not excruciating. Since we didn't work out yesterday (our shopping trip brought us home by 11 PM and we were exhausted), after I got home from work tonight, we did the workout again. It was definitely challenging to do the workout twice in one day, but still doable. I have already been able to consistently increase the number of push-ups I can do with every workout.

After our second session, I made a dinner of Pseudo Caesar Salad from the book Vegan Planet, by Robin Robertson. It was delicious, tasting like Caesar salad without the high-calorie dressing and it was devoid of animal products. I've included the recipe and a picture below, in case you'd like to try it out. With a little help from my mom and some Internet research, I was able to find miso paste at Fairway Market and the recipe came off without a hitch. All would have gone well today, except for the sad, sad fact that I work at a bakery that is famous for their huge, delicious cookies. Between my snacking at work, and the cookie I brought home for Alix, it was our one big slip-up. But improvement is the name of the game - not to mention, thank God I only work at Levain two days a week. We're still not feeling any weight-loss, which is frustrating, but we are feeling stronger from the workouts. I guess we'll have to give the weight more time to come off since we've just recently started eating throughout the day (normal people do that, right?).

Anyway, here's the recipe for the delicious salad. Any encouragement, advice, and support is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Yummmm

Pseudo Caesar Salad
Croutons (or French bread with crusts removed, cut into 1-inch cubes and toasted at 325 for 25 minutes)
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 T tahini paste
1 T mellow white miso paste (I used "mild" paste because I decided "mild" was more important than "white" and there wasn't an option for both)
2 T lemon juice
1 tsp tamari or other soy sauce
1/4 tsp Worcestershire sauce (optional)
1/3 c olive oil
salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 head romaine lettuce

In a food processor, combine the garlic, tahini, miso, lemon juice, tamari, Worcestshire, and olive oil until blended. Taste and adjust the seasoning with salt and pepper. Wash and tear the romaine, then toss with the croutons and dressing. Serve immediately.

Good Eats (Healthy = Expensive)

The above equation isn't exactly a groundbreaking conclusion, but it is one that we were reminded of anew tonight during our grocery shopping expedition. This was an epic week for shopping, mostly because we're revamping our diet but also because we're still restocking our pantry after the move to the new apartment. We discovered tonight that our local grocery store (Fairway Market) is open until 1 AM, which is amazing because due to my work schedule, we cannot go shopping when normal people do, around 6:00 or 7:00 PM. In addition, Alix's and my anxiety goes into hyper-drive if we are forced to grocery shop in a store packed with angry, bitchy, self-entitled New Yorkers so shopping at 10 PM like we did tonight was perfect. Our second amazing discovery is that Fairway Market, which is huge already, has a second floor full of organic food!! We thought that leaving the land of Whole Foods would mean the end of our ability to purchase organic, but not so. Fairway is overwhelming and large, but navigable when we are some of the only customers, and the staff is reasonably helpful. The only item on our huge shopping list that we couldn't find was white miso paste, probably because we had no idea where to look for it or what it even resembled (it is for a recipe from my cookbook, Vegan Planet). Maybe we'll try another store?

Look how long our receipt is!

We spent $159.17 total, with no meat products on the list. The most expensive thing we bought was a bag of pecans for $9.23, the second in line was almond butter for $6.99, and third was a wedge of cheese for $6.70. The least expensive item was a navel orange for $0.89 , followed closely by individual grapefruits ($0.95 each) and bottles of seltzer ($0.99 each).

Our planned dishes for the week include lasagna, the pecan fennel watercress salad previously mentioned, a vegan Caesar salad, roasted brussel sprouts, pierogies with sauteed apples and onions, pappardelle with spiced butter, and leftover cabbage rolls (I hope to post pictures of all our meals this week for your mouthwatering enjoyment). Since I'm becoming more committed to packing food for my long work days, we bought essentials like grapefruits, berries, apples, the makings of almond or peanut butter sandwiches, celery, yogurt, and cottage cheese. Alix and I agree that eating much more frequently throughout the idea makes us feel weird and whale-like, but the reality is that it's more healthy to eat like this than it is to wait until 8 PM to eat anything, and then eat everything in the house. We're adjusting. Hopefully all this work, plus the workouts, will have some results. Not sure if this is related, but my belt was one notch tighter this morning than it's ever been. Small victories!

Home Cookin'

This week our goal was to decrease the amount of money we spend on eating out. This includes not just meals out, but extras like Starbucks, ice cream, etc. To that end, we planned four meals to cook for dinner (we'll eat leftovers the rest of the time) and shopped with restraint yesterday. Our weekly allotment of grocery money is to stay under $100. It's appalling to me that this is how much it costs to eat healthy, local, organic (but still affordable) food in NYC, but that's life. As a kid, I recall my mom spending about $150 a week to feed a family of six but that was ten years ago and in the small town where I grew up, which is about is different from the city as you can get.

Alix and I both have high standards for food. This doesn't mean we spend money stupidly, but it does mean that we buy organic produce from the farmers' market near us instead of the tasteless, albeit cheaper produce from the Morton-Williams grocery store a block from our apartment. The lessons I've learned from books such as Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver make it so that the guilt trip I put on myself for not buying local seasonal foods dictates that our eating and shopping choices be both moral and sustainable. So far, our spending this week has been in line with our goals. We spent about $80 at Whole Foods yesterday, which leaves $20 to spend at the market tomorrow on produce. We will probably get fruit (peaches, Concord grapes, and maybe a watermelon) as well as vegetables (salad greens, radishes, and beets).

Our menu for the week includes the following meals:
1. Sirloin steak with grainy mustard sauce + marinated green beans
2. Tuna noodle casserole + marinated green beans
3. Black bean soup + cornbread + salad
4. Pasta Florentine + peaches

Steak with mustard sauce

The steak and tuna casserole recipes came from a cookbook that Alix got for her birthday: So Easy, by Ellie Krieger. We made the steak last night and it was delicious! I have almost no experience cooking meat so Alix bravely took control of pan-searing the sirloin while I made the mustard sauce (reduced chicken stock with sauteed onions, flour, salt, pepper, and grainy mustard). I had made two pounds of cold marinated green beans the night before so we ate those last night, tonight, and probably tomorrow night too. The marinade is a spicy tangy sauce of onions, garlic, green chilies, oil, and vinegar that is poured over lightly steamed green beans and left to soak in the refrigerator for as long as you want.

Tuna noodle casserole

We made the tuna casserole tonight and were less than impressed. It was more work than we anticipated and the end result was boring and bland. Not so bad that we won't be eating it tomorrow, but not great. We consoled ourselves by getting gelato after dinner. As you can see, we take three steps forward and one step back.

And my last thought for the night on being healthy - we are back to taking our vitamins. My mom had me swallowing handfuls of vitamins for as long as I can remember but I grew lackadaisical about taking them while I was in college. After going to the doctor a couple of weeks ago, I was told that my vitamin D levels were extremely low. This has inspired me to start choking down the dreaded pills again. Since I feel like doing something halfway is worse than not doing it at all, I am not content to take just D. I am back to taking the following: calcium, magnesium D, C, flaxseed oil, and a daily multiple. Alix, bless her, indulges me by taking all of them too. We gag and complain and, in my case, spill my juice glass in protest, but they go down. Here's to growing up (and growing healthy)!

Slow Start

Alix and I, while both highly motivated, are also expert procrastinators. It should surprise no one that knows us that this ambitious plan of ours is starting rather slowly. Or not yet. At all. See, the problem is that Alix just had a birthday. And I, well I'm a sucker for birthdays. We spent her actual birthday at my parents' house upstate where I made her a blueberry pie. Once we were back home though, I wanted to make more of a day of it. I didn't have to work on Monday so we slept in, took the puppy to his favorite dog park, and then went to see the Bodies exhibit at the South Street Seaport. Right before we were about to enter the exhibit, Alix stopped dead in the street, pointing wildly to a spot about twenty feet in front of us and started yelling, "Look! It's here! It's here!" She was referring to the famous Wafels and Dinges cart which has been eluding our grasp since I saw it featured on the Food Network. Our plans to spend no money that day went out the window as we decided to sample the famous chewy warm waffles covered with toppings of your choice (Nutella and strawberries for me, just Nutella for Alix). It was worth every penny spent, and every gooey bite before we entered the shadowy halls to contemplate the waffles' journey through the epic disassembly line that is the human digestive system.

Later, I made the dinner that Alix had chosen: chicken served on a bed of wild mushrooms (from The Silver Palate Cookbook, by Julee Rosso and Sheila Lukins with Michael McLaughlin), steamed artichokes with Hollandaise sauce (from Mastering the Art of French Cooking, by Julia Child, Louisette Bertholle, and Simone Beck) and chocolate chunk cookies for dessert. Nothing about this dinner was cheap or particularly healthy - Hollandaise sauce is butter with egg and a side of butter and, oh yeah, butter - but it was special and delicious. I've been told before that one of my greatest attributes as a cook is that I am utterly fearless. While I have a hard time believing most of the compliments I receive, this one I acknowledge as true. I taught myself how to make bread, pie, and almost everything else I can do in the kitchen by assuming that if one follows a recipe, has good intuition, and isn't afraid of messing up, anything can turn out delicious. This was true of the birthday dinner since everything I made was new to me (except the cookies, those are old stand-by's in our home).

The birthday feast

Next on our mission: order our DVD workout plan with its accompanying diet guide, figure out shopping lists based on said diet plan, and stick to the following budget guidelines:
Rent: 40%
Groceries: 10%
Utilities/Phone/Transportation: 6%
Pets: 4%
Miscellaneous (healthcare, car insurance, extra unexpected costs): 11%
Debt: 15%
Savings: 14%

I realize that's pretty convoluted, but this is a work in progress. Things they do not teach you in a liberal arts education...

The Beginning

Hi everyone and welcome to our blog!

Here we will be writing about our adventures in New York and our quest to live healthier, happier lives on a budget. While New Yorkers are famous for continuously complaining about how expensive everything is (the rent! the parking! the food!), the truth is that Alix and I (Cait) are living off of one income and a rapidly depleting savings account, paying a rent we can't afford (go figure) and supporting a sulky cat and a dopey dog. This all sounds so much more tragic than the laughter-filled and love-blessed life that we are lucky to have but since we both want to remain healthy and financially viable into our next seven decades, the time has come for us to tighten our belts a little and make some changes.

The last three months since I moved into Alix's studio apartment in Hell's Kitchen, we've been a bit, shall we say, loose with our money. We appreciated the constant availability of take-out and became all too familiar with www.seamlessweb.com. We also spent a large chunk of money transforming the apartment from the haphazard bachelor pad Alix was inhabiting into the cozy and furnished home we now share. Finally, we paid precious little attention to our spending habits at places like Whole Foods, Screme (the most delicious and over-priced gelato joint on the West side), and Unleashed (the boys' favorite holistic pet supply store). Now that we're settling into our respective routines - I work about fifty hours a week as a nanny, while Alix will soon be starting her second year of law school - we've decided to address our growing waistlines and shrinking accounts by changing our spending, eating, and exercise habits. We've designed a budget, sworn off eating out, and are starting a crazy workout plan (more on that later). We'll be doing our best to document our adventures here, in an effort to keep us honest and keep you amused. We invite you to read along and share it with us.