My name is Cait.
I grew up in the farmlands of upstate New York, collecting eggs and running around barefoot. Now, I live in New Haven, Connecticut where I wear scrubs a lot and feel like a fraud for doing so.
In May of 2010, I graduated from Smith College, which is a women's college, not an all-girls' school. I was very convinced for a long, long time that I wanted to be a doctor. Plans change and dreams grow, and there's nowhere I'd rather be than here, becoming a certified nurse-midwife at the Yale School of Nursing.
In my previous life, I was a nanny. I've been raising babies since I was tall enough to reach over crib rails, and leaving all of them behind has left a Texas-sized hole in my heart. Someday, my family will include babies that will be mine to love forever. Hopefully five of them, but I might settle for four.
I am honest on this blog. It's not always pretty, but it's all me. I have a medical chart you would need days to read, and a list of diagnoses that are yes, mostly related to my mental state, and yes, that do make life difficult sometimes. But the struggle is the center of it all. It's the torment around which we all orbit. It's the reflection of ourselves that we see in strangers' eyes, and it's the knowledge that as deep as you fall, you can always climb back up.
I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a student, a whirling dervish, and a darkening sky.
I do the best I can.
I take things one day at a time.
This is the story of me, growing up.
