Thursday, February 9, 2012

What doesn't kill you...

...makes you stronger!

I know that Kelly Clarkson is not the first person to say this.  Or even sing it, probably.  But oh man, she does a good job.  This overused idiom is best said (sung, rather) along to the Kelly Clarkson song, "Stronger," preferably rocking out in the car, at a stoplight in Newton Centre in rush hour traffic after taking care of babies for thirteen hours.  Also best sung and rocked out to during periods of rumination over The Breakup.  

Here are the facts:
I was, and am, sad and grieving over the end of my relationship with Alix.
I was, and am, better off out of that relationship than in it.

The truth bites sometimes.  I thought I had it in the bag, y'all.  I thought that everything about my life was lined up, laced up, packaged up and ready to go.  Turns out I was wrong.  And you know what?  Being that dead wrong about something as big as that has opened my eyes to the possibilities of being right about so much else.  Like being okay with the idea that I don't need another person, a romantic relationship, or a life partner in order to feel complete.  I can work, I can build a career, I can build a family, I can parent, I can grow a community, and I can damn well fight my eating disorders and bipolar all by myself, thank you very much.  And I'm NOT by myself, that's the best part.  I have family.  I have friends.  I have amazing doctors and therapists who care about me and make ridiculous office hours and phone appointments in order to keep in contact with me.  I have the people that have always been there and the people that I have yet to meet.  Maybe one of those people will wind up being a partner.  Maybe not.  But either way - I'm never, not ever going to let being "alone" stop me from doing the things I want to do with my life.

So go ahead, K. Clarks - sing it, girl:

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone.


Weintribe said...

Proud of you, C.


Two things:

1. This is a terrible lie that exists in our culture, that you're either part of a couple or you're "alone." (And that one is better than the other.) It's bullshit. As you point out, you're not alone. You have many wonderful people in your life who love you and care what happens to you.

2. There is a program for single people at a church near me called "One is a Whole Number." I don't know anything about the program, but I think the name is genius. You are a whole person, and you matter.

Moi said...

I had my girls listen to the chorus, and we had a wonderful discussion about what it meant.

Alone does not equal lonely. Strength on your own before strength with another.

Preach it, KC and Cait.

Cait said...

Thanks everyone! J., you are always an inspiration. Noelle, one IS a whole number, and that's such an awesome name. Thank you for always being so kind. And Moi, I'm so thrilled you talked about something like this with your girls. What an amazing lesson for them to hear and learn while so young. You's a pretty rockin' mama :)