Eight Months In

It's supposed to be great weather for your race on Sunday, he says.

Right?  Sixties, I think.  It's like thirty out right now, though.

He dumps leftover Thai food into two bowls and I take a sip from each of the two half-full water glasses, in an attempt to figure out which one is mine.  He makes a face at me, Yuck.  I dump out both cups and fill them fresh, rotate the bowls in the microwave and backwards hop my butt up onto the tiny counter while I dig another marshmallow out of the open bag in his cupboard.  He turns around in time to see me wrist-deep in the bag and I dutifully hand him one too.  

I miss summer, I say.  Can we make s'mores sometime?

Sure.  He grabs my bare feet in his warm hands and squeezes, my runner toes popping and cracking and I laugh as he says, Maybe in July these popsicles will thaw.

Yeah, dream on.

The couch is finally warm beneath our mishmashed forms, he tells me no, he doesn't want any blanket so I pile more of it over my bare legs and popsicle feet and we watch episode after episode of New Girl.  I tell him Zooey Deschanel is cute because I can be that girl that is fine if her boyfriend thinks other girls are cute, it doesn't mean he doesn't love me and if I say it first then it's okay if he says it, right, and he looks at me like I'm crazy and tells me he wouldn't know because she's not me, so why would he care and another tiny scar on my heart heals over, smooth and red and shiny and whole.

I heave myself up from the couch to follow him into the kitchen, empty dinner bowls in hand.  He tells me to keep out, he's busy, go sit back down and so I slide the dishes through the door and don't look, used to his surprises by now.  Five minutes later, he's back with a plate and a smile.  Look.  So you don't have to wait till summer.

Four ooey gooey s'mores, perfectly constructed.  For all I know, he toasted the marshmallows with a butane lighter but I don't care because I'm already taking a bite and he's giving me a chocolatey kiss and asks me, Good? and I say, So good and Thank you and I love you and we each eat two and I doze off listening to his heart, slow and steady and reassuring and whole.