Baby Steps

We were having a quiet afternoon inside today after a very busy morning.  We'd gone to a new playground, dug in the sandbox, danced in a sprinkler fully clothed, walked all the way home, had baths, had lunch, had naps, and the mercury was pushing 93 degrees - I'll be damned if I'm sunscreen-ing them all again and going outside, I told myself.

When Bean woke up from his afternoon nap, I brought him upstairs and sprawled out on the living room rug where the older boys were involved in some elaborate game involving pillows and an armchair being built into a den and the two of them pretending to be jungle cats (a decorative bear-skin was playing a crucial role in this dramedy).

For fun, I stood Bean up (he's been standing unassisted for the past week or so, much to his delight).  I sat in front of him, only two feet away with my hands out.  "Come on, punkin!  Walk on over!"  He giggled, reached out a hand for my finger, but stayed put.  I tried it a few more times, patting the ground in front of me for added effect but gave it up after thirty seconds.  Ah well, I thought.  He'll get it soon.
"Can we have some music, Caywin, pwease?" asked LM.
"Sure," I said, and scooted the three feet over to the stereo to turn on the nursery rhymes CD.  I turned around to see Bean standing with a big grin just where I'd left him.  Before I could even blink, he planted one pudgy foot in front of the other, sure as can be, as if he'd been doing it for his entire life - and walked straight into my open arms.

My heart literally burst.  I laughed and the tears started falling of their own accord.  "Oh my gosh!  Bean!  You walked!  I'm so proud of you, my punkin pie!  I am so proud of you!!"  His expression was one I'll never forget.  As he held tight to my fingers, staring into my eyes with his big blue ones, his face said it all: "Did I just do that?  Did I just do that?!"  "You did!" I crowed.  "You did it!  You walked!  You are such a grown up, gorgeous, precious boy and I love you so much!!"  I scooped him up, smothered him with kisses, and called my nanny friend to commiserate.  She knew exactly how I felt, and almost started crying with me.

Just to be sure, I set Bean down in the kitchen and stepped back.  Without a second thought, he toddled toward the dryer and started banging on it with both hands - a very satisfying sound to any boy under the age of ten, I'll wager.  When the boys' father got home, I told him all in a rush and Bean proudly demonstrated his new skill as I cried....again.

I saw a priceless, unrepeatable moment today.  I will treasure it forever. 

There is magic in seeing life, real, honest-to-god life happen in front of you.  There are beautiful, wonderful things that we experience every day, like the sunrise and the scent of coffee and the click of the door behind you when you come home from work.  There are also moments that only happen once.  A baby's first steps only happen once.  And when those steps are to you, into your arms, there aren't words.  There just aren't words.

Today, my heart broke and burst and healed all in a moment because there is nothing in the world like seeing real-life magic happen before your very eyes.  Loving a child is just that - magical.