Monday, January 2, 2012

New Years 2012

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before? 

Oh god, pick one: got engaged, got diagnosed with two eating disorders, got referred to residential treatment, didn't go, quit a job, met my best friend, met a therapist who finally got me, said goodbye to the person I loved most, moved to Boston, and then oh yeahhhhh - got dumped!  YEAH 2011!!!!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I think that I said I "didn't do resolutions" this past year but that I was going to try to be more grateful, to be healthy, and to be more patient.  I think that with the exception of the gratitude one, those all went out the window.  I am ever more grateful, every day, for the blessings that I have.  I am also more aware, every day, of how quickly those blessings can be taken away (which makes me even more grateful).  For this next year - one foot in front of the other is as far as I've gotten.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not that I can think of...

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My great aunt Marian died late, late 2010 and her memorial service was held in early 2011.  It was heartbreaking to see the last of "the girls" (my father's mother and her two sisters) die, but she lived such a fantastic life that I can only imagine her hamming it up in heaven with her two beautiful, spirited sisters.

5. What countries did you visit?

None.  I didn't even go to Canada.  And I practically live IN Canada.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

I would like to have hope.  Endless, eternal, stupidly and ridiculously overblown HOPE.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 4th - got engaged
Sometime in March - met my best friend
December 20th - got dumped

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Honestly, getting up and out of bed (almost) every day of this whole freaking year.  And realizing in the last few days of this year that even if I'm not enough for someone else, I'm enough for me.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not knowing what it was that Alix needed and not being able to give that to her.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Yes.  Medications and therapy help.  But they're here to stay.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Not to be incredibly materialistic, but I got a pretty sweet iPod that I love.  I also got a ton of books, a moose-covered nightshirt, and a candle that smells like lavender.  I call that winning.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I think my best friend, my therapist, and my mother all deserve awards and accolades for putting up with me and supporting me through this epic year

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Alix's, without question.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Rent in NYC and out-of-network mental health coverage bills

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Moving to Boston, getting engaged, getting an interview at Yale (not necessarily in that order).

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Home, by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder?

Sadder.  But looking forward to a new beginning.

b) thinner or fatter?

Thinner. But....yeah.  Anyway.

c) richer or poorer?

Poorer.  Again, looking forward to a fresh start.  New job, pleasepleaseplease.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

More writing.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Trying to please people who cannot be satisfied.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At my parents' house with them and many of my siblings, including my one and only niece.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Nope.  Working on the whole falling out of love thing at the moment.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Um, I guiltily watch The Biggest Loser, but I also developed a recent addiction to Up All Night.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hate is an awfully strong word.  Disappointed works better.

24. What was the best book you read?

Absolutely, positively cannot pick.  Best recent book was Cutting for Stone, by Abraham Verghese.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Bon Iver.

26. What did you want and get?

Another year to grow into the person I want to become.

27. What did you want and not get?

A relationship that would survive this year's difficulties.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

I barely watch tv, let alone movies.  I don't even remember the last time I went to the theater.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 23 and I had to work at the bakery, so my boss brought in a bottle of Prosecco and a chocolate cake and everyone sang to me.  Then we ate cake, got drunk, and tried to pretend we were sober enough to still be serving customers..

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If the "here's what to do with your life" fairy could stop by, that would have been great.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Leggings, loose sweaters, and boots.  Oh, and I decided to embrace my hippie roots and start wearing my hair wavy.  Take that, flat irons.

32. What kept you sane?

H., my therapist, my mother, and Tucker (honestly).

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I am about as aware of the public affairs of the world as I am of the life cycle of the slug (in other words - I don't give a shit.)

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Legalizing gay marriage!  Go New York - everyone else, let's follow!

35. Who did you miss?

I missed Alix every single fucking day that she was gone.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

H.  Without a doubt.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

Just because you are not enough for someone else doesn't mean that you're not enough for yourself and other people who can appreciate and love you for exactly who you are.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Home is wherever I'm with you.

Long post!  Congrats if you got through it all!

Here's to a happy, healthy 2012 for us all!

Tagging Noelle and Allison to do this too!


Anonymous said...

wishing you an AMAZING 2012!!


Allison the Meep said...

Woohoo! Thanks for tagging me!

Heck yes to Bon Iver. It took me a few months to learn how to pronounce it properly (bone e-vare), and my brain with its hillbilly genetics, keeps wanting to pronounce it "Bawn Eye-vurr." Durrrrr.

I hope 2012 kicks so much ass for you that you don't even know what to do with all of it.

Anonymous said...

{new follower here} hello!

I hope the new year is everything you hope it will be ... and then some.

(Not sure how the Yale interview turned out, but let me know if you need anything. I live close by and my sister in law attended Yale recently.)

Cait said...

Anon - Thank you and same to you!!

Allison - When I went home for Christmas, I was trying to impress my *very* musically inclined brother by telling him that I now listen to Bon Iver (and said it "Bawn Eye-vurr"). I practically got laughed out of the house. Burn.

Amanda - Thanks for reading! I'll definitely post about the interview (it's on the 27th) once it happens and thank you so much for your offer of help! I will definitely take you up on it if I need anything.

Noelle {Aloud} said...

Yay, I got tagged! (But I'm afraid mine's going to be super-depressing...)

I'm totally down with your life lesson. And along with that, trying to "be enough" for someone else can sometimes mean short-changing yourself on the attention and appreciation you deserve.