Cake Fail

I follow a blog called The Bitten Word that does what I could only dream of doing - actually cooking the recipes from their monthly supply of food magazines.  Now, granted, the only food magazine I subscribe to is Cook's Illustrated, which comes every two months and definitely lends itself to well-intentioned stockpiling on the bookshelf with promises to myself of, "I will definitely make that someday."  Anyway, the folks at The Bitten Word issue a yearly challenge to help them cook every recipe out of the September issue of Bon Appetit.  I signed up this year, and was issued the task of making this: buttermilk cake with sour milk jam and gin-poached cherries (whew).

All my ingredients.

It was less than impressive.

It incorporated several elements of baking that I find vexing - like the need to go to Whole Foods for a strange and expensive ingredient (juniper berries?), the finished product requiring complex assembly, the use of three (3) separate complete elements, and a wholeheartedly unrealistic amount of time spent doing active work (not, say, cooling something on the counter or baking something in the oven).  So, not only was it a great deal of work, but it tasted gross.  This saddened me.  But!  (There's always a but.)  I had fun making something that I never would have made otherwise, and the cake part itself tasted delicious.

First, I planned.  I got most of the stuff I needed on a grocery run - in the process acquiring more dairy than our fridge has held in months: buttermilk, whole milk, and creme fraiche.  Then, I traded picking up a friend at her mechanic for a cup of leftover gin she had since I didn't want to buy a whole bottle.  (Meanwhile thinking to myself, isn't a cup of gin, like, a LOT of gin??).  Finally, I resigned myself to going to Whole Foods after class one day to buy a four-dollar jar of dried whole juniper berries.  I will be personally indebted to anyone who finds another recipe with which I can use any more of the (barely touched) bottle of juniper berries, by the way.

The cake part, like I said, was delicious and simple enough.  Just a yellow cake batter, using buttermilk, which gave it a lovely soft crumb and a delicately sweet flavor.  Scrumptious.

Then, I spent 45 minutes cooking down milk and sugar into a syrup of such sickening sweetness that even mixing it into 8 ounces of creme fraiche didn't make it not taste like a cavity.

Finally, I followed the recipe exactly and attempted to make a gin, sugar, juniper berry, and dried tart cherry syrup thing to also put with the cake.  Total fail.  There was nothing syrupy about it, and the cherries were macerated within minutes.  I took one taste after cooking it for at least twice the amount of time called for (in an attempt to reduce the vast volume of liquid) and it was like taking a shot of gin in a spoon.  I'm not in college anymore, so this made me gag.

The finished product.

I took one bite of it all together, threw the sour milk "jam" and the alcoholic cherries in the trash, said a silent apology to the friend whose gin I'd wasted, and ate a piece of the cake with my hands.  Whomp whomp.  I'm very curious to see what others who made this recipe thought of it!  And I was at least happy to note that my instincts when looking at this recipe (looks complicated, and, is that seriously going to taste good...?) were spot on.

Anyone else had some recent cooking adventures they'd like to share?

Loyalty Has Its Rewards

I may have shamelessly offered compensation in return for following my blog, but hey, I deliver.  Sarah has been following my blog for months, and in exchange for her loyalty (and, more importantly, her INTEREST), I whipped up some delicious chocolate chunk cookies that will be en route to her Monday morning.  Get a load of them:

Any more takers?

Come on, you know you want to...

A Guide for the Non-Sleeping

Here's a formalized list of what one should do in the event of severe insomnia:

1. Wake up.  Pretend to not be awake.  Lay with eyes closed and imagine self still asleep while growing more and more awake.
1a. Or, conversely, if you can't fall asleep (as opposed to not being able to stay asleep), lie in bed and try to think calming thoughts about boring things like the life cycle of mushrooms and pretend you don't notice all the worries gleefully whizzing through your head.  What's my bank balance? Did I mail the rent check or did I only imagine I did? The dog needs his nails trimmed.  I think I left the coffee grounds in the coffee maker again today.  Lovely.  What time is it?  How long have I been lying here?  What time do I need to get up for work tomorrow?  Did I set my alarm?

2.  Finally give in to inevitability of wakefulness.  The responsible thing to do is probably get up and do something else for a bit and hope that a fresh wave of tiredness will kick in and send you back to bed.  After all, lying motionless in bed (especially while your bed-mate sleeps peacefully beside you) isn't helping anything.

3.  Take Advil for the inevitable headache that a severe lack of sleep has brought on.

4.  Idly check twitter, facebook, blogs, email, Etsy, etc, until you've vaguely committed to spending lots of money on beautiful touches for your home or person.  They're always the kinds of things that you see and think, "Ooooh, I didn't know I needed wanted that, but now I do!  How lucky I am to have found it!"  Like this jewelry hanger that I legitimately do need (my jewelry currently sits in a massive heap next to the bed where it gets tangled and thus, rarely worn).  Or the highly enticing idea of having a t-shirt quilt made using all the sentimental t-shirts that I have collected over years of college, organized sports, marching band, 4-H fair shows, and life in general.  I don't wear them anymore, but I can't bear to part with them.  Speaking of...are there any quilting readers out there?  I'd love to hear your thoughts!

5.  Grow slightly bitter about everyone in this apartment's ability to sleep so naturally and for so long.  Even the nocturnal cat is conked out, for chrissakes.  Nothing like a little insomnia to make you feel alone in the world.

6.  Send an idea out into the blogosphere that I'd be too scared to do during the light of day.  Here goes: I want to get my baked goods "out into the world," as it were.  I love to bake and it's something for which I can honestly appreciate my skill.  I enjoy making all kinds of treats, including (but not limited to!): chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, fudgy brownies, banana cake with chocolate frosting, flourless chocolate cake, cherry-topped gingerbread crumb crust cheesecake, raspberry-topped summer cheesecake, black-bottom cupcakes, fruit crisps, breads of all varieties, cinnamon buns, and most of all - pie.  One of the reasons summer is my favorite season is because of the abundance of fresh fruit in the farmers' markets that are pie-ready and delicious in a way that store-bought fruit just can't ever be.  Here's the thing - I'd honestly be willing to give my goods away in exchange as a drawing for more blog followers, etc, but I'm having trouble getting around the idea of how to ship food goods so that they're still spectacular when they arrive.  The other option is to try to find a way to get them out and about here in New York but again, I don't have a clue how to do that.  Thoughts, anyone?  I wish I could send you all something delicious to brighten your day, feed your family, or delight your coworkers!  Baking is a hobby that I miss dearly, but that isn't practical for Alix and I right now.  After all, I can only pawn off my wares to my nanny family so often.  It brings me such joy to bake.  I wish I could do it more.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

7.  Have fun imagining the future changes to the apartment that (we hope) are going to make us feel less stir-crazy and more organized.  The kitchen table is being given the boot and the space will be occupied instead by bookcases and a comfy chair (cannot wait for this change!).  The Container Store shopping spree will be put into use this weekend, making our closets and storage areas much more useful and accessible.  Once I accomplish one thing, it snowballs nicely and I find myself feeling capable of taking on another task, and then another.  Pretty soon, I'm checking things off the to-do list that have been there for weeks/months.

8.  Read new library book and pretend it's a normal time, and not 4 AM (when you've been up since 2:30).

9.  Blog.  Uselessly.  Sorry everyone.

10.  Feel sorry for oneself.

11.  Try to go back to sleep.

12.  If it's a fail, resign oneself to the beginning of a new day.  Make some coffee, drink it while the sun rises, and look forward to giving one's psychiatrist a piece of one's mind this evening about raging insomnia and its resistance to her prescribed medications.

13.  Try to be grateful for the good.  Try, try, try.

love to all.  hope you're all sleeping peacefully.  i wish you sweet dreams.
xo